But God can see far past the shadows. For darkness is as light to him.
God, in his infinite grace and mercy, did not leave David to be completely devoured by his rabid passion. He sends Nathan to tell a story which will re-ignite the light of David’s passion. Nathan narrates the story simply and clearly. And ‘David burned with anger against the man…’ (2 Samuel 12).
Then David’s passion fueled his repentance.
There is a moment when we look at our reflection in the eyes of another or in our own mirror and we don’t recognize the face staring back at us. When Nathan first swiveled the mirror around, David did know who he was seeing. His misplaced, mistimed, misdirected passion had altered the landscape of his spirit and face.
I understand David. I have had passions which slid into obsessions. Longing for intense and intimate connections, I have directed my passion onto others. They could not sustain, maintain, absorb or diffuse it.
I want to learn from David.
When I read the Psalms, I hear David’s voice speaking for him and for me. When I am angry, lonely, happy, mad, frustrated, elated, disillusioned, afraid, apathetic, or joyful I read David’s journals. And that is exactly what the Psalms are—the personal prayer journals of David.
O my God, I long for the deepest of intimacies with you. I yearn for an unsevered connection. Come, sustain and maintain what we already have. I do want more—increase the passion of my wild faith. I trust you with it. I know you do not want to domesticate or tame this wild and unruly part of me. This is a part of the Wild Faith you have called me to…this is a part of the weft and warp of who I am.
Show me the difference between enthusiasm and passion. Some situations need enthusiasm, and some elation, and there are some which deserve passion. Please give me keen discernment to recognize and understand the difference.
Only you can absorb this intense passion of mine. Only you can direct, place, and time it so that it is beneficial and extraordinary, rather than destructive and banal. O God, open up places and opportunities for my passion to bring you glory. Take my shoulders and point out to me with great exaggeration what direction it should follow. Reveal to me the fullness of your timing so that I and others will not be scorched by its flames. And when my passion burns down to embers, please reignite its light.
Amen and amen.