Monday, February 22, 2010

A Funeral

I attended a funeral today.

I do not like funerals. I fought a mental war all day yesterday and last night about whether or not I would go. How silly, yet how real was the struggle.

Why? Funerals are heavy and somber events. They are shrouded in sorrow. Hurt is tangible.

Funerals make people feel awkward. They move us out of our comfort zone. What words do you say or not say? What gestures will be sincere and authentic? How do you avoid being trite? What do you do for people whose pain is evident in their eyes and body posture?

Steve asked me this morning what changed my mind about attending? What caused me to decide to go?

Because some things just simply aren’t about us. Some events are just not about our comfort levels. Some hard places in life aren’t about what WE say or do; it is about our willingness to be present.

Our presence indicates, at varying levels, our willingness to enter into the sorrow and help carry it.

Will the grieving remember each individual who was there? Most likely not, but what will be remembered is the collective body that came together to express grief, offer support and give love.

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